Clearly I'm the worst

at blogging. But I'd planned to post on Tuesdays and now have softball that night. So instead look for new posts every Wednesday, starting tomorrow. Text me if you don't see it, readers.

On Bridget Jones and procrastination

Y'all. I am struggling.

For the past two nights (just kidding really like the past month) I have been trying to write this cover story about hospitals and money and all sorts of stuff, and I just cannot. It's gotten so bad that I can't even think of anything to blog about - OH NO BRIDGET'S FACE IS SO RED AND MESSED UP.

Yes, perhaps part of the issue to this point with getting any work done has been my decision to watch Bridget Jones' Diary last night followed by its sequel tonight. Although I've yet to see the sequel - I'm actually enjoying it thus far - I generally think of the first one much like I do Twizzlers or Gobstoppers. I'm never like, "Oh my god, I need to watch Bridget Jones!"

So, to you, my two readers who have not seen this film, watch it so we can talk about it. And that's it, I have nothing to say even in blog form because this cover story is bringing me down so much.

Also readers, leave some suggestions for pop culture things you'd like me to blog about in the comments. Love you all, and life is misery.

Tonight on Property Brothers: Sexism!

One of my favorite things about basically every single HGTV show is the relationship dynamics that play out between the participating couples. Love It or List It, my gateway home improvement drug, milks this for every drop it can, scripting conversation between bickering spouses, upping the sass factor if those spouses are of the same gender.

But after wasting too much time with LIOLI and taking a brief detour to the world of House Hunters (both original recipe and international) I found the promised land of Property Brothers, truly the greatest version of home improvement television this side of Bob Villa.

Can you imagine the excitement at the pitch meeting?

Producer: "Picture two men. Both very tall. Both very handsome. One neat and dapper, one rugged. The rugged one spends a lot of the episode yielding heavy tools like sledgehammers, but also picks out the best patterns for your couch fabric, because he's manly yet stylish. The other one doesn't do much, but looks good."

HGTV exec: 'Give me two million episodes!"

Before someone gets upset, I don't watch Property Brothers for the attractive men, though I'm sure there are plenty of people who do. I watch it for the relative realism of its people, plots and renovations - although the couples' apparent unfamiliarity with the structure of the show they're on always brings me down. (Why are they surprised the first house is out of their budget? ONE OF THE BROTHER'S JOB IS TO DO RENOVATIONS, WHY ARE YOU SAYING YOU AREN'T OPEN TO A RENO?)

Now that I've gotten through that long preamble, I have to tell you that the episode I watched tonight nearly broke me. If you have Netflix - which I not only do but just tonight managed to hook up to my TV tonight like a grownup - I'll direct you to season four, episode one, titled "Under Their Own Roof."

The episode features a couple that, for some unexplained reason, has moved from an apartment in Manhattan into the wife's parents' home while they look for a house to buy. They complain about a lack of privacy, suggesting their bedroom wall's position next to the living room means too much noise disturbs them from the common area, but I'm pretty sure they are just embarrassed to have sex while their in-laws watch The Good Wife. (No hate on The Good Wife, which will almost certainly be the subject of a blog post coming soon.)

Yada yada yada, hot brothers do somethings, tear up some sinks, bing bang boom, dream home. I'm not super interested in recapping the happenings. What I'm interested in is talking about Wyatt, who seems pretty convinced that this whole home purchasing endeavor is a man's game with whatsherface (I don't remember his wife's name, for which I blame the show, not my failure to take notes or look it up) just along for the ride.

I never once heard Wyatt use the word "we" or "our." For Wyatt, it was all "my," be it a budget, a home or taste. After Wyatt established how much he - not they - could afford to spend on a home, and the Property Brothers convinced him a reno made sense, the couple bought a condo (I think) nicknamed 'The Dog House.' (This show is weird). Upon buying the home, Wyatt sat in a car with unnamed wife and expressed his enthusiasm, before adding, "Now I'm poor."

Now you're BOTH POOR, Wyatt! What's yours is hers and what's hers is yours!

This continues to the point where he spent a lot of money on some ugly curtains or something and she just made a sassy wife comment about him deciding not to be frugal for such a stupid item, and, after the home is done, unnamed wife THANKS WYATT for the largess of spending THEIR MONEY. on a PLACE FOR BOTH OF THEM TO LIVE.

Wyatt's thoughts? He's excited to spend the night in his own home. Not theirs. Because he is the man, and this is 1950.

And with that, I've become a woman of the Internet, angry about the men folks. Even if you haven't seen the episode (what are you waiting for?) curious for your thoughts, readers, on sexism or the lack of it on HGTV.

And if you have seen it, do you think I'm being too hard on Wyatt? Is it my wine and strawberries and too-soft Gorgonzola poisoning my mind? Am I just bitter because I don't have a man to buy me a home that handsome TV stars will renovate? (Get it together, Barrett, and make sure they put in a tennis court.)

It's another blog!

Stop me if you've heard this before: Ellie is starting another blog.

Yes, this is a tune I've sung before. And yes, my two (possibly three?) previous blogs didn't go anywhere, either in terms of Internet fame or my level of motivation to continue. I've got a better feeling about this one though, for three primary reasons:

1. I'm not explicitly seeking (or expecting) Internet fame with this one. I'm more interested in honing some of my less frequently used writing and reading muscles and building a community with you, my loyal readers and friends. Don't get me wrong, I won't turn down Internet fame, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a thousand steps. And whatnot. 
2. I have plans to stick to a schedule, arbitrarily deciding that Tuesday nights will be my posting night. Once a week seems fairly infrequent, so if the people insist on more, I'll go for more. But hold me accountable no matter that, loyal readers!
3. I had a third reason, but I've already forgotten. Already likely to fail. Oh well. 

So what will this attempt at blogging focus on? Something I care about to an extent I would describe as unhealthy if there weren't a lot of other people on the Internet who care about it even more: pop culture.

But Eleanor, you may be saying, can't I just read the infinite number of pop culture blogs, websites and Twitter feeds that already exist, or listen to the numerous podcasts (damn you podcasts, I wish I could quit you) covering the same things without the laborious pain of straining my eyes staring a bright screen?

You certainly could, and, if you are me, probably will. But at least you first pool of loyal readers are my friends, and hopefully believe in my pithiness/. Plus, too many times in my life have I decided there's too much competition so I should instead take the path of least resistance. NOT ANYMORE. Because you know where that gets you? ENNUI. (Technically, living in an awesome city with a well-paying job [for your industry, that is] and generally enjoying life, but also, ENNUI.)

So perhaps this blog will lead to strangers discussing pop culture with me (and maybe a podcast!) or maybe it will lead to nothing, but hopefully it will add some sparkle to my days and keep some of you entertained. As I post, please share your thoughts, preferably via comment, and we'll get this thing rolling. At some point we'll roll out the Twitter component, but for now, let's just be friends.

Coming up next: the most sexist episode of Property Brothers ever.